Ghost (Not To Be Forgotten)

There are a lot of things that go through your mind when you realize someone is gone from your life forever. It doesn't matter if you were close to them or not, it still feels wrong. Like a large hole is just opened inside you, and though the hole may be filled, you can still feel the pain when you think back.

That is what I felt, pain. When I got that phone call from my mom, I was out of town visiting friends. We were sitting around the campfire laughing and having a good time. I would never have expected what I heard when I answered that phone. My mom's voice was thick and shaky, I immediately knew something was wrong, because my mom doesn't just cry. And when I asked what was wrong I realized my voice must have reflected the same shaky quality because everyone around me fell silent and looked at me with concern. My uncle had committed suicide, at first I was confused, I didn't believe it, but then it all registered. He was gone. My cousins, one was out of town. The other found him. It was devastating for both of them, and though there relationship was rocky at the time, you don't just get over your father leaving you on this earth alone. It has been a year since his death. And though it should be easier I still feel there is a dark cloud over our family. It has never been the same, and I don't know what is worst. Knowing that it can never go back to how it was, or wondering what we could have done different, to save his life. And so a year later I find myself thinking about my own father, and how I may have treated him in the past. I know all children and parents have there spats, but I still can't help but feel guilty for it. I never want to live with that guilt. So in all, it doesn't matter if you are close to someone. If someone is gone from your life it effects you. I thought I was invincible but I find everyday that I am more vulnerable then ever. That is why we should all strive to give all the love we can to everyone and not take people for granted. Because you never know, they may be gone tomorrow.